New moms. You hold an incredibly dear place in my heart.
Maybe it’s because the desire to have more children has never gone away & the phrase “just one more” flows easily from my lips.Maybe it’s because when I hold a newborn baby for the first time I’m in awe of the truth that the Lord found me worthy to shape the life of another human being created in His image. (Genesis 1:26)
Or maybe it’s because when I look into the weary eyes of a new mom I’m reminded of the sleepless nights and I desperately want to commend you for the countless hours of work you put in that nobody ever sees.
Being a new mom in suburbia American can, at times, feel like you’re in the octogan with Conor Mcgregor. It’s not for the faint at heart. As if the rapid mood swings, uncontrollable crying and night sweats aren’t enough, today there is a surplus of new things to worry about.
-vaccines causing autism, sunscreens causing cancer, insect repellents damaging the nervous system, screen time affecting language development, contaminates in baby food…the list goes on and on.
Then there are the opinions…
-natural childbirth vs. epidural, co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping, bottle vs. breast, scheduled vs. demand feeding, passive feeding vs. baby led weaning, working vs. stay at home moms, crying it out vs. soothing.
The immense worry and desire to “do what’s best” can cripple a mom. The various opinions can lead to self doubt and make us think we aren’t doing enough, being careful enough or giving enough.And that is why I wish I could sit across from you over a cup of coffee that’s been reheated in the microwave multiple times. I desperately want to squeeze your hand and with tears in my eyes remind you that you aren’t just enough….you’re God’s perfect plan.
You are the one the Lord chose to parent your child. Out of the millions of other women in the world…the Lord graciously chose you to be the mother of your child. It doesn’t matter if you gave birth to that child or that life was formed in another’s womb…you were chosen. There is no one else in the world more suited for the job at hand and no one that knows more about what your child needs than you. Breathe that truth in deeply and relax in His abundant grace.But I also want to tell you that as the days pass and the weeks turn into years you’re going to learn who you are as a woman and who you are as a mom. The decisions that today make you anxious and apprehensive will become second nature and be made in complete confidence, often times without a second thought.
It’s a gradual progression and if you aren’t careful you’ll miss it but you’re going to settle into this whole “mom thing” and find a rhythm that works for you and your family. One day you’re going to look up from the beautiful chaos of diapers and onesies that so accurately portrays your life and realize that you’ve made it through the trenches of new mommy-hood and graduated to the ranks of seasoned mom.
And my one piece of advice is that when you find yourself in that new season remember those exhausting, uncertain days and let those memories drive you to take the hand of a new mom and offer a kind word of encouragement. There isn’t a mom on the planet that fondly recalls the suttle rebukes, or the underhanded jabs. But, we all remember the woman that lovingly took our hand and encouraged us along the path.