Redefining Resilience: Two Years in the M.E.

Redefining Resilience: Two Years in the M.E.

The word resilient is defined as “able to become strong, healthy or successful again after something difficult or bad has happened.”

It’s not often that I allow myself to sit alone quietly and reflect back over the transition that has been our life for the past two years.  Who am I kidding? It has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t allow myself, it’s more that I never have a moment alone. Last week the principal the Hubby gave me the day off and I found myself sitting alone in a coffee shop recalling the numerous intricate details that curve, twist, bend, distort and turn {but somehow come together} to form the beautiful symphony of our lives.

My flesh wants to tell the world it’s been easy. My sinful nature whispers in my ear that if I tell you about the dark days you’ll think I’m weak. And my desire to please wants to present to you a woman that has it all together and gladly accepts the journey God has her on. The problem is- that just hasn’t always been the case.

Last week we celebrated our two year anniversary of living in the Middle East. I’m certain there isn’t enough space in the world wide web to chronicle all the Lord has taught me on this journey, but the overarching theme can be summed up with Isaiah 9:10 “The bricks have fallen, but we will build with dressed stones; the sycamores have been cut down, but we will put cedars in their place.”

The journey has been fierce and more days than not, I wanted to give up. The things I believed defined my life and the person I was seem like a distant memory. I was fragile, wounded and my life had been shattered…or so I thought.

But, just like you would never tear down a beautiful home-

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-just to build a rickety shack in it’s place.109500888_efc3b0271b

The Lord was choosing to tear down the woman I was, so He could create something new.

I was under the impression that a “new me” wasn’t needed- but I was wrong. This journey has led me to see that I can, in fact, depend on myself- rather than Him. And I can and have found satisfaction in this world- instead of Him. And the temptation is always there to root my identity in what I can do- instead of what He has done for me.

These were brutal lessons to learn, but they were necessary. I find my grip on this world a lot looser than it used to be. And I believe the Lord has been gracious in allowing me to see how much I really do need Him each day.

I’ve aged a few years in the process- but I’m confident that He has prepared me for tomorrow and even more important, He has allowed me a brief glimpse of His face. I long to hear His voice, because I know what it’s like to be without it. I see His glory in the smallest of things, because something as simple as a gentle breeze to dry our laundry is evidence of His grace. And I rejoice in His goodness, because I’ve learned that I can’t make it a day without Him.

4 thoughts on “Redefining Resilience: Two Years in the M.E.

  1. Prayed for your family today. Can’t believe it’s been two years. Thank you for being real…it makes the story of what He is doing all the more beautiful!

  2. When I read this I can’t help but wonder why He would bless me with such an incredible daughter.

    3 children, 3 pieces of my heart, 2 promised eternity, 1 already there. I think I’m the most blessed woman in the world!

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