Life With Boys

Life With Boys

My sweet friend recently found out she was having a baby boy. This will be her third child and her third son.  Seeing the royal blue balloons in her Instagram announcement reminded me of the first time I heard the words, “It’s a boy!”

I was unconditionally overjoyed and whole heartedly unprepared to be a member of the Boy Mom club. Thankfully, my rock star mom and the dear friends the Lord put in my life were altogether willing to show me the ropes. They showered me with every shade of blue and taught me new words like- circumcision and Pee-Pee Tee Pee. I had so much to learn.

 

Fast forward 14 years and I’m not only  in the Boy Mom club…I’m  an Elite Member.

My five boys are 4, 7, 9, 11 and 13 and they’ve schooled me in all things, “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails.”

And while I LOVE to help new moms prepare for life with boys, the suggestions I make now are entirely different than the ones I gave early on in my journey.

I’ve put together a list of five things every boy mom should know.

  1. Be exceptionally leery of young girls that want to be your bestie. When a girl is in the same age range as your son and she is constantly texting you, showing up where you are and ordering you matching B.F.F. necklaces…she’s up to something and it’s probably no good. I can activate Mama Bear mode in exactly 0.2 seconds. You’ve been warned.

2. Go ahead and put a toilet auger on your baby shower registry. Boys and bathrooms are a lethal combination. Call it curiosity or call it boredom but boys flush things down the toilet. Hot Wheel cars, toilet paper rolls, washrags…there is no limit to the things they will flush. Save yourself a lot of frustration by always having a toilet auger on hand. You’ll thank me.3. Foster their love of Band-Aids and then by stock in the company. When boys are small they put Bandaids on everything. Not only should you let them, you should encourage it. In a few years their little boy legs will be covered with cuts, scrapes and scabs and if you can keep bandaids on them you’ll reduce the amount of blood that is All. OVER. YOUR. HOUSE. Buying stock in Bandaid will help keep your sheets, couches and rugs as stain free as possible.

4. Skip the all natural, froo-froo bathroom cleaners and go straight for the big guns. I get it. I really do. Organic chemical free cleaners are all the rage right now but you need to hear me say this. Boys pee everywhere and your essential oil, vinegar based, eco-friendly, non-toxic mumbo jumbo cleaner is going to run home crying with its tail between its legs. I appreciate the nod to health and wellness but go ahead and get yourself an industrial bottle of Clorox Urine Remover and call it a day.

5. You have a never-ending, all encompassing, automatic pass to enjoy “girly” things at any given moment. Your life will be a coalition of E.R. visits, one word responses, strange smells, injuries, non-stop hunger, constant wrestling and conversations that consist entirely of emojis. The concept of breaking away and making time for yourself is not only “suggested” it’s mandatory. So-tell the hubby I said go get a manicure, go to the spa, watch a chick flick or plan a craft night. Trust me…you deserve it!

One thought on “Life With Boys

  1. You have written many a blogs, but this has to be the one that made me laugh the hardest. Everything you said is spot on and the part about boys peeing everywhere 🚽 is especially true. Especially I the middle of the night 💦 Live my younguns❤️

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